I am definitely not as consumed with the changes I have endured to my lifestyle as I was a few months ago. Although I have not completely adjusted to the changes, I feel my acceptance level has increased. I can tell because my attitude is much more positive. When I was first diagnosed, I worried about dating, and building new friendships. The thought of having to explain the experience over and over, not knowing what the responses would be, was terrifying. I had said to myself time and time again- “I’d rather just be alone”! During diagnosis and treatment, I’d read articles that touched on dating after cancer. It seemed to be difficult for most to pick up where they left off, if they weren’t already married. I was not motivated to even delve down that path once I was finished with treatment for many reasons. I realized now that people are more interested in a story and when you have one to tell, it’s easy to attract curious minds. So grateful for all the new friends being formed, especially the ones with fellow females surviving life after cancer. Although we are far apart, the similarities we share makes the bond a strong one!
The hardest part of recovery, one would think is the pain but it actually is the fact that I don’t look like I was sick and is missing a part of me. Sometimes I wish my insides matched my outside. I wish I was beautiful mentally. Once I got back to work, with the attempt to put my life back together, the phonecalls to check in stopped, the visits stopped and some friendships dissolved. I wonder sometimes – do the people who sympathize with you when you’re going through the “tough times” really do it because they want you to be better or is because they enjoy seeing you at your worst? Do they do it because the feeling of being needed gives them some sort of satisfaction? Do they not expect you not to improve or want better for yourself? I don’t think that these people understand that they are truly needed the most during recovery- for the follow up visits, to encourage, to listen, and to create new fun memories.
Nevertheless, I’m a believer that everything happens for a reason. Although at times, I miss these people, I miss who I used to be- I love the fact that I am much more humbled, confident enough to express what I want when necessary and is able to appreciate life’s simple pleasures. Cheers to LiFe
– Live Love Laugh
The journey to healing continues!
3 Comments Add yours
Lovely post, glad to read that you are doing well. I agree about feeling changed by cancer . I was sick for 11/2 yrs before I was diagnosed with uterine cancer. I had major surgery on my insides, with lots removed. I look the same but feel like a different person. I still don’t have my same energy back and have to remind my family that I am still recovering. I feel better and better, but I am a different person now. I am more committed to self-care. My wellness is #1 priority now. And working on living to slay ❤️ Thank you for the inspiration ❤️
LikeLiked by 1 person
It was such a pleasure meeting you Tony’s birthday celebration. You are an inspiration in so many ways, especially given what you have been going through. In addition, you are an excellent writer! I see a book or two on your horizon. ☺
This is an open invitation, to be my guest when/if you are interested on my TV show – Discover A New Future – that airs on Princeton Community TV. The focus of the show is to inspire educate and provide resources to women. And believe me you have a story that will inspire many women from many walks of life.
My prayer is that God will continue to heal your body and strengthen your mind so that you can do His will. Thanks again for being open and vulnerable as you share your feelings.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Faith, it was great meeting you too! Wish we had more time to talk- oh my, coming from you, it’s means a lot that you think my writing is book material. 🙏🏾. I would love to appear on the show. Thanks again #livetoslay