It’s officially a year since surgery and what a freaking years it’s been. Trials followed by tribulations, followed by more trials. People commend me on being strong and being transparent, funny I don’t know if I would have gotten this far if I wasn’t transparent. Sharing my story has lead to connections with people who just like me are going through it. When I look at my one year of trials and compare it to their years of trials, I feel weak.  I would wish anyone the pain of childbirth before I wish anyone to go through what I have and is still battling with.  

The seasons change has blessed me with a cold and boy is this an experience. I have one human working nostril and it’s been quite a challenge to control the mucus and gravity seems to be winning this fight. In times like these, I don’t know whether to laugh or cry- I can barely drink liquids without having it run through my nose or choking me. This is very fraustrating, one would think as time goes on, things should be easier- well the sad truth is I feel like it’s only getting harder. 

Aside from my daily battles, I have to deal with negative energy from people. It hurts to think that some folks were looking forward for me to forever look “funny” in the face, as a result of the resection. Cancer have forever humbled me, I truly appreciate life itself, the simple things, my children and the people I associate myself with. However, I will not shut up about anything that bothers or seems unfair- why not because life’s to short, keeping it bottled up is toxic and I don’t have time to pretend. I have always been defiant and I wasn’t going to let my disability hold me back from dreaming, heck I’m only 31, there’s still so much to do and so much to achieve. 

Although illness is supposed to bring people together, it can sometimes tear them apart. Finding peace from within is the only real solution to accepting the pain of just having to separate yourself from those who once appeared close to you. However connecting with people who share similar experiences and who can relate seems to be the answer for me. I am grateful for the new bonds that are being created, for the beautiful people that are coming into my life and for the ones who are making their final exits. 

The Journey to healing continues –