“The root of joy is Gratefulness”It’s the end of radiation therapy and what a frustrating and painful cycle. The last month and half has probably been the worst part of this journey thus far. Every side effect described to me in my initial consultation was experienced throughout this process, it just kept getting worst. I’ve never wanted to give up so many times in life before.
Not being able to bring comfort to yourself is one of the hardest things for an independent individual to deal with. I’ve always taken care of me, though this journey has thought me how to accept help from others, and let REAL people in, it has also made me super angry. I’ve always, always found a way to make things better for me or anyone for that matter – I’m always “Ms Fix it” but this I couldn’t fix.
Having a sore throat for a month and a half, with sore gums, blisters, a sensitive tongue, sunburned cheeks (on the inside of mouth), of course your resected area is still healing so it hurts too, a clogged ear which prevents from hearing to your full ability, a stuffy nose & a cold. With all these things, I was only able to eat super soft foods & drink room temperature liquids, while I had no taste buds. Talk about eating & drinking only to survive- yup this was me.
I lost a significant amount of weight & I was instructed not to loose anymore- Ha, I thought! Cancer wasn’t exactly the weight loss regimen I had in mind. Nevertheless, my family has been my rock and I wouldn’t have it any other way. I love them immensely- my sisters shuffled their schedules to accompany me to therapy, my ex husband and my ex fiancé took full responsibility of our children and my mom made sure my home was as comfy as comfy can be. My guy just made sure “I’m Good” – his choice of words, and the bestie is awaiting my arrival in Tortola so we can catch up – laugh, talk, cry – it’s what’s girls do!
All in all, I’m alive, I have full mobility, I will be able to watch my girls go off to college – what more can a girl want? I am greatful ! My faith has been restored and a new me is in the making- welcoming 2016 with open arms.
The journey to healing continues!