“Life is 10% of what happens to us & 90% of how we react”.
Everyday I’m one step closer to getting healthy again and there’s the constant reminder to self that the pain is only temporary. My stick therapy is going great but still very stressful and frustrating. Going outside makes it very painful because the cold and healing muscles don’t mix! Nevertheless, I don’t have a choice but to bare the pain because I refuse to have a closed mouth for the rest of my life.
Radiation has begun and it’s frightening, sometimes the unknown is a safe heaven. I’m anxiously awaiting the time when the side effects kick in and once again I’ll be pain and discomfort. It makes me paranoid and scared.
On the brighter side the treatment sessions are short and I’ll be finished just in time to celebrate Christmas with my family. My team of nurses are awesome and so attentive- it’s so very comforting! This has now become my full time job since treatments are 5 days a week for 6 weeks.
I’ve gotten comfortable with my condition and started sharing images on my social media accounts. I have been somewhat ashamed and feel unattractive, but I’ve come to realized that this is my new reality and I’m overlooking things. Hey, I’m human right? – one day I’ll get the hang of this.
Despite my acceptance of my new reality, I have bad days! I sit, I cry, I wonder, I question, what’s next for me? What’s my purpose after my healing. I ask myself where do I got from here? There are moments when I want to give up, because of the thought of starting over! Then I am reminded that this is one of my selfish human antics. I am alive, I have God, I am healthy, I have a family that cares for me, I have two beautiful girls that adore me, I have an amazing best friend, I have good friends that care, my guy adores the heck out of me but shows it the most awkward way. The journey to recovery continues!