The final days before surgery, are moving pretty quickly. There’s not enough hours in a day! Phasing myself out of work, spending more time with the kids, final follow up visits with doctors, preping my home for the best friend’s arrival and my recovery. I don’t talk about my family much, that’s because everyone does not know the full extent of my diagnosis and my treatment plan.

On another note time with the kids was priceless and emotional, I even babysat my 3 month old grand daughter. Since, it  was decided they shouldn’t see me until I returned home- Text messages and emails from friends and acquaintances are heart warming. 

As for me, I’d planned to spend my weekend, brunching and hanging with friends since I’d be on a liquid diet for about a month post surgery. Instead, I was sick, puking, weak and tired.  I made it to my final appointment but couldn’t even have my treatment. This made me think, I still didn’t get the message- “slow down”. It’s not the end, it’s a new beginning. There’s no need to live like it’s the end.  Funny, the only pain I felt this weekend was in my tummy from the puking. 

I tried not to think of the surgery or the fact that I had some form of cancer spreading inside me. I tried not to think about the fact that half of my mouth will be removed. I tried not to think about the prothetic implant I’ll be living with for the rest of my life. I tried not to think about the pain- well I tried to block everything out. 

My weekend ended at church and brunch with some close friends. Like every other day Tamela Mann is on blast – she’s gotten  me through my toughest days. When you want to talk to God but can’t find the words, she speaks for you! The best part of it all was having all of my immediate family with me, joking, talking about old times, eating and being silly. My week was perfect. God laughs at a planner