I say on the toilet pondering with my eyes closed. I can hear my sister calling my name. My sister died when I was 12 years old and subconsciously I’ve always wanted to see her. Thoughts of not making it out of surgery often crowded my mind and I would quickly shut them out. Hearing her voice this morning was scary and excited, was I going to see her again and finally fill that void in my life? 

Arrived at the hospital and realized I didn’t have my ID to check in and there was no way I was going back home! Thanks to technology, I had a copy saved and they accepted a digital copies. geesh. My sisters, mom and my best friend say in a waiting room. Oh man the anticipation was killing me, but of course no one knew. Finally my name was called and I went into a room, was handed a bag and gown. Ha, it hit me, then I asked “can I go say something to my folks” & and of course I had to get my selfies in. After all, they were going to be the last ones with original teeth & smile. 

I manage to see them one more time before I was escorted to the surgery floor. I arrived in my prep room but I hated every moment of being there. The other patients who were escorted with me were prepped and taken to surgery. I was still sitting there, couldn’t fall asleep, the anesthesiologist missed my first tap due to my tiny veins. My zygomatic implant wasn’t on the floor & the tools for performing the surgery had to be changed. I was getting frustrated and most of all scared. In my tiniest and sweetest voice I asked the Dr. Should I be concerned?