Knowing why you’re in pain makes the suffering so much more horrible. Knowing that it’s not just a toothache, knowing that it’s not a headache or knowing that it’s not sinus pressure makes it all that more worst. I am however beginning to accept the fact that my life will forever change. Life’s experiences are strategized by a higher power and sometimes it takes traumatic events to help us move forward in the right direction. 

The other night, while I was out of town visiting a friend- I took some pain medication.  The effect was unexpected, I was completely numb and didn’t know where I was.  My friend was in shock and unsure as to how to react to my abnormal behavior (I laid in corpse like position staring at the ceiling).  I didn’t acknowledge their presence at all. I was completely embarrassed.

My X-Rays were normal, which is a sign of relief. The CT scan and meeting with the oncologist are upcoming. I can’t help thinking of what could be found and how the treatment can change. Nevertheless, I am ready for what’s to come and I will break through. My diagnosis has helped me to realize that though I am often a loner, and some events are worth experiencing with the people you are most close with because it helps the bonds and friendships get even stronger. 

Along with my already healthy diet, I’ve added alkaline water and turmeric pills in an effort to have a speedy recovery. Spending more time with the children have also become a huge priority. Then there’s work! Making sure the restaurant is well staffed, orders are in and my shifts are covered is another concern. I have been blessed however to have such a great boss-